Well, I've had many firsts over the last couple of years... Mostly thanks to my children. Well, 2 years ago was a new first. ReAnna's 2nd grade teacher was 3 years my junior! Never had that happen before. I began with a very skeptical attitude, but it turned out to be a very pleasant year. She was just amazing, not only with my baby, but great with all of the others, too. I truly have a place in my heart for this particular teach b/c she really helped to set the foundation for the attitudes of the children towards ReAnna's religious beliefs.
Well, she has recently (last few months) had a baby girl of her own. Going along with all of the stresses and worries, I gave her a bit of unsolicited advice.
Here goes:
Teacher wrote: February 27 at 6:40pm "Thanks for the websites...I will check them out out... and I know what you mean about feeling like I am doing everything wrong. Does the worrying ever go away?
I hope I get to have Talon in class.
Sounds like you are busy with puppies! Mine our driving me crazy..I feel like I have 3 children!
I need to post pics of (baby)...although recently an administrator told me that teachers should not have facebook pages. OOPS! I love this, it has helped me reconnect with people I have not heard from in years.
Sounds like (baby) needs me! More later! So good to hear from you! Molly:)"
Then, I wrote:
"Well... the bad news is: the worrying never ends. The good news is: the worrying never ends. It's just like the stages of your child's life. You trade one stage in for the next. Ya know, like... crying for sassing. As they grow, they prove that they're not as fragile as we think. I remember when I had Ré. I went over to a friend's house that was selling a product and I was supportin' the cause, blah blah blah. Well, she had a lady that was attending also. She was a very kind lady, and it shocked me to death to find out that she had birthed 8 BABIES! She looked GOOD! Well, so I figured she knew what she was doing when she asked to hold my precious gem... She threw her around like a rag doll. Ohhhh. It was so hard to bite my tongue, thinking every swing on this lady's hip would be Ré's last bit of survival. But, ya know... Ré (who didn't go to many others at first) was so unbelievably comfortable with this woman. Now, she was only about 2 months old. Ya know, the times before there's much neck strength. But, she was just fine. Our kids tend to show us that they'll be fine.. We just choose not to see it right away. There's also a whole lotta hormonal crap that goes on initially. I had post partum with both of mine. Once I found out that many women dealt with it, I was able to think rationally about it. I noticed this overwhelming feeling of "aloneness" (even if my husband was sitting right next to me!) towards the evening hours. So, I would make sure that I was home and comfortable around that time. I tried to talk to hubby about it, but I truly think they go through some stuff, too. He used to cry b/c everytime he'd want to hold the kids (when they were new) they'd cry. They only wanted me and he felt he 'failed as a father'.... Ya know.. when you're pregnant there are so many things people tell you..."Get plenty of sleep now, you won't have any when the baby comes" (yeah right. were they ever pregnant. I didn't sleep for about 7 months b4 Talon came along. And the lack of sleep didn't bother me as much as the "crying and I'm not sure why" sinarios.) or blah blah blah "poopy diapers"... There are 3 main things noone tells you: 1. They've been in you for 10 months. They only know and want YOU! Your smell, feel, sound. UGH! Don't feel bad dads, it does go away. It has nothing to do with their lack of skills! 2. It doesn't last forever. Sometimes you feel that this is what you'll deal with the rest of your life. Nope. They grow. You never hear anyone say that. "Guess what. Your daughter is going to be a fourth grader!" and 3. You'll be an amazing mother. Noone says that. They tell you all of the things that they did wrong or express their unsolicited opinions of "not to have any". Never, "Man. I couldn't have picked a better mother for a child." If you heard that stuff, koodos to your supporters. So, I always try to remember that kinda stuff when I get my chance to talk to the mommies. Motherhood is THE MOST EMPOWERING THING YOU WILL EVER DO WITH YOUR LIFE! That lack of confidence you feel... that's the sign letting you know, you are doing everything just right! It's one of those hine sight things. You won't see it just yet. But, like I said b4... we try hard not to scar them for life or screw them up, we end up doing more harm than good, yet, they turn out absolutely fine! We care. We try. We love them to no end! They drive us nuts. We want to throw them out of the window or drop them off at the local shelter. But, they turn out fine! ... and the best part! They LOVE us! (Until 13 when they think we are no longer the smartest people on the planet! LOL. You wait. It won't be long b4 Averi looks up at ya and says, "Mom. You're so smart." When she does, record it... for proof! :-) Anyhoo, did I ever mention that I tend to talk a lot?... I'm sure you never noticed when you had Ré...;-) I truly hope you get Talon. I just hope his desire to learn isn't entirely demolished by then! I just never remember being in K and telling my parents that I didn't want to go to school... oh, well.
Well, I'll let you go. Take care of yourself, first! It's not selfish. It's the most loving thing you can do for her. I didn't realize that until I was ready to leave!!! Not that I EVER would have.
Oh, yeah. Also, hold her as much as possible. That whole cry it out crap and holding a baby spoils her is a bunch of B.S. They become much more comfortable with you and then before you know it, they can sleep anywhere. They develop that comfort and confidence that you'll give 'em what they need right away. Again, unsolicited advice. Never listen to other people... including me! ;-) It's called "instinctive parenting". It's the best kind. Most tried and true. Ask you grandmother!"
"P.S. Oh. And the facebook thing... It's not wrong for a teacher to have one. Just don't post any NUDES and show them to the students! LOL What morons!"
So, yes, I know... a very long-winded use of a platform that I have only stood on for a few short years. But, I do have to admit, it can be very invigorating to share just a little something you've learned with another woman. What do you think?
"I've learned that, as a parent, my style has been sort of like Nemo's father - what's his name? Anyway, now it's time for me to relax a little and take the advice of the turtle. You know, "Dude, let us see what Squirt can do flying solo." As a parent whose children are almost grown, my advise to young parents would be to love them with passion, but don't forget to enjoy them. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I plan to make up for them when I get to be a grandmother: -)"
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