Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself n2 some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness!

Those are the words of Dale Carnegie, a businessman turn author/lecturer. Not, however kin to Andrew Carnegie of Carnegie Hall. He did tho, change the spelling of his name to match Andrew's seeings Andrew's success was growing.

Concerning happiness, I do so wish to write. I enjoy playing around on this blog, but I wonder if I could be a writer. Would I ever have a famous, cliche kind of quote others would recite for me long after I'm dead? Not recalling where it originated but its meaning was so powerful, it dare not be forgot. Doubtful, since I'll never seem to gather original, provoking ideas.

And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. ~William Shakespear

To come close to writings as Shakespear or Jane Astin or Louisa Alcott seems something only a well-learned man could accomplish! To recite old English the way they did, simply b/c it was their way and the only one they knew, but none-the-less, beautiful. Sometimes, tho, it didn't sound as nice as it read. I think I prefer to read it, unless it's uttered by someone such as Brian Cox.

But, then, about what would I write? Myself? Yawn. I have been known to be one of those people that have stated, "My life's so crazy, I could write a book!" (Say it in a Southern Draw and pretend you have a beer belly!) I may have some things to share that I haven't already, like how I pee in the shower... pretty much every single time I take a shower. I can't help it. I always pee before I get in, but then here comes the warm water. Or how I abhor crying b/c I feel it makes me weak. I could do mommy/daddy issues! UGH! Who cares about that?! I don't even want to talk about that junk! So over it! I could write about my family. Or should I say, MORE about my family. I do have plenty of stories for that! But, once I HAVE to do it I may not enjoy it anymore... I could include, tho, what it's like being a Christian woman, mother, wife and how I've fought to endure through all of our struggles and tribulations.... yada yada. It's been done so many times. Everyone strives to live by some guideline and struggles to maintain it. It's called LIFE! I am a frugal person/lover! I have ideas for that, but most of them come from books I've read! I could write fiction, non-fiction, biography, autobiography... But who cares?! I'm a no namer... Hhhhmmm... Well, I suppose for now, I'll write sheer, utter nonsense to myself on my blog... It'll be a journal of sorts... Maybe something could stem from it.... I might get to author a movie like Julia and Julia! OOOoohhh... Maybe I should test things out and document every single detail and post it for the whole world to see (In my mind I'm standing on a cliff shouting this out with my arms outstretched and head tilted back like in the Irish Spring commercials! LOL)! Ahem... excuse me. I can get carried away. I suppose that's already been done, too. Hmph! INSPIRE ME!

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates!

Oh, that Forrest! How wise...

Ya know, life can be very much like that box of chocolates, not knowing what you're going to get, but yet, still how delicious that box is!

With all of the chaos going around the way - and not just us! I'm completely amazed by all of the ones that you would never have thunk come up to us and telling us their tragic/chaotic stories. People who were believed to really and completely have it ALL together - I've decided to take control of what I can... MY LIFE! And everything that's surrounding it. Can I control my finances or how someone else treats us (like luring our first pet into a cage and dumping her somewhere and acting like it was our fault!) or the endless phone calls from collectors of telemarketers that became old about 13 years ago when I first got my own telephone! Nope. I can't control them. But, I can control MYself, and how I look at things. We constantly allow so many toxins into our bodies from stress and why on earth give them that power over us?!

This is what I've started... It's small and many folks already do it, but here goes... For every bad (OMG! My life is ending!) situation that we're faced with, I find 3 positive things that have come out of it. Between that and my "Positivity Journal" that I keep, my attitude has really changed and I FEEL COMPLETE. I've even noticed a change in my children and husband. It's something that I've always known, how mom feels is how the rest of the family feels... but, this isn't only a change in my life, it changes how my children look at things and hopefully will represent the way that they choose to rear their children.

For the past... oh 8 or 9 days, every time something bad happens, be it bad news in the mail, kids fussing, bad neighbors doing illegal things and getting away with it, or just a gloomy, muggy day - like today- I jot down 3 things that are good that have came out of it. It may even be that I take out an old receipt from my purse and scribble down a thought or two.

For instance, when the cat situation happened (Long story short - Evil neighbor, lured innocent house cat (illegal), dumped far away (also illegal) and is not ashamed by her actions) it seemed as though no one would listen. It's not like we're the "cat people", we have 2. They're indoor. They snuck out one night. Loved it. She didn't.

One night, after the cat napping!, I was sitting there thinking... Is that okay? Can someone just take something that's yours (or in this case ReAnna's) and dump it somewhere and it's okay? If that's the case I could take all of the neighbors' barking K9's and ship them to the Reservoir.. So, I decided to call around and see what I could find out. Well, the police know nothing. We printed up the codes for them! They tell us to contact Humane Society. HS says call Sheriff. Sheriff is township, not city. They say call cops. That ticked off my mother, who happens to be more passionate about this cause than I am and she's contacted code enforcement (who never got back with us). Then, that guys secretary got tired of him not calling us back and gave mom the name and number of the City Manager! So, now they, too are on the case. Apparently, if it gets resolved a lot of folks may or may not get into some trouble for not doing their jobs. All I wanted was someone to at least give her a warning and say she can't lure pets with food and trap them. Sheesh!

Well, after being emotional about this for too long, I decided to be positive... First of all, we rescued the kitten that had been coming around for fear that she, too, may be dumped (and of course, I became hero to the children who have been driving me insane with wanting her since she showed up). And she is just a doll! The sweetest personality of any cat. When we let her in for the first time, she went right into the litter box, so we think that she was probably dumped in our woods, like so many of the strays over here. Secondly, it's made us appreciate the pets that we do have. We don't think of them as a burden (not that we didn't enjoy them, you've heard the stories) but a privilege to care for them and give them a loving home. #3 positive feeling was now our neighbor avoids us like the plague! It may not seem too positive to you, but we've dealt with her bad attitude and dislike for our children for the last 7 years. It's so nice to go outside and completely be ignored! It avoids that awkward tension experienced when you had to find something polite to say quickly without it seeming made up.

Also, as far as my husband being laid off and injured... though I thought for a long time of all of the negative things, I failed to see the positive. How we've received help from assistance programs, the time spent together - virtually stress free, having a helper around the house, getting projects done that have been ignored for years!, and who doesn't like the smell of coffee brewing and bacon in the skillet. My husband happens to be the absolute best bacon maker ever! He gets them so perfect. Chewy throughout. Mine are burnt in some spots and raw in others. UGH! We've been able to do our bible studies much more thoroughly and draw closer to Jehovah as a family. In fact the hard thing that I dealt with in trying to think of three positive things was that I couldn't limit it to just 3 things. There were so many wonderful things that have come out of this situation.

These are just a couple of my situations that I've changed my thought process on, but I have a notebook that's filling very fast, and you get the idea. I've even found that things that normally would irk me, don't. Like, if I don't feel it's important enough to take out my pen, I just let it fly!

I have so many books, bill books, budgeting and finance, self-help... Wouldn't it be great if others told me their stories and I put them together with mine? ....I'd like to have a book like that.

Things I Love!

Don't you just love the smell of rain in the spring and fall. In the spring it's great b/c it's a relief from the snow that seems neverending. In the fall it's a sweet smell that arises from the decaying leaves and plant debris that have shed to the earth's floor. A summer rain can seem pleasantly welcome, too, if there shortly follows relief from a humid eve.

I love the sound of a baby's voice. Be it a cry or uncontrollable laughter, it doesn't matter. That innocent, pure sound never gets old. Sometimes, I just sit in my bedroom and fight back the tears b/c I know that the laughter, arguing, excitement, playful banter and quiet storytelling that I overhear coming from the next room... isn't going to last forever. One day... It'll be gone. As much as I want to complain about noise (sigh), it's stability and I know it won't last forever. Just let it happen. Whence it's gone, I'll be lost wondering where I may find it again.

I love the sound of lots of feet in my home.

I love the smell of spices coming from my kitchen. It means that I've got a wonderful reward of sweets in the oven. Though, I still reserve a spot in my heart for the smell of fried onions and stewed veggies.

The kitchen is full of herbs drying for winter use.

The wood floors have been recently oiled.

The woodburner is close to being lit.

The windows are open, allowing a bit of a fall breeze inside to air out the stink of summer.

The bathroom smells of baby powder that was used after the last bath.

The babies' room smells of crayons, clean laundry and that perfume (of a vanilla scent) that ReAnna keeps spraying everytime she's in there for any period of time.

I just love it.

The smell of fresh cut grass, most people love. But I, too, love the look of it. Like when you vaccum your carpet. It just makes everything else look so much better.

I love sitting in the shade of our patio umbrella or of the maple tree that sets over the hammock.

I love the Japanese anemonie that are currently in full bloom, next to a vining rose that is of the same color, yet has just begun this year.

There are many great spectacles of beauty on this earth, but yet the view of the forest from my front door will do just fine.

Soon the apples will be ready for pickin'. I like to gather the ones that are on the southeast side of the tree b/c they have been warmed fairly well by the sun. The taste is more fully enhanced. Who doesn't find the sound of the 'pop' when you've cracked a bite of the apple comforting?

How blessed, truly, I am to have the one that I share my life with truly earn my deep respect. Though persecution stumbles us all, it's nice to have a stronger hand to lift you. No need to force myself to submit to his headship b/c he makes it so easy to love and support his decisions. All he does is a sure testament of his love for his family.

I often lose touch with these insignificant treasures. Finding the time to recollect the deeper things of home and life and love can prove to be one of my tougher battles. But, when I do... the feelings of love, comfort, endurance and appreciation for all we go through and learn from are overwhelming. If only I could always remember...

See?...

I'm so mad at myself!

Anytime someone else tells me their issues/problems, I truly try very hard to reason with them. I try to get them to see that they're definitely NOT the only person on the planet going through what they are experiencing and a lot of times it's all in how you may look at a situation. I hate a truly healthy individual to feel sorry for themselves. You have health, food, shelter, family, children, etc.

I'm mad b/c I feel soooo sorry for myself that I can hardly breathe. I'm at the stage where I'm fighting back that rather pushy lump in my throat. The one that reminds me that he wants out and he'll make me think of all my problems at once in order to accomplish this task.

Andre's had surgery, yes. But, he's doing good for being only 6 days post op. The day after Andre injured himself the pediatrician's office called letting us know that ReAnna tested positive for strep throat. But fortunately it wasn't a painful virus and didn't last very long. The next day I needed to mow the lawn - I'm finding it difficult doing EVERYTHING. Not that I don't like mowing or taking out trash or driving, washing car, laundry, dishes, dogs, getting kids ready, breakfast, lunch, dinner, welfare appts, picking up kids, getting the remote, dispursing meds, and applying for jobs... it's just that I never had to do ALL of it myself before. Like, I know people do it all of the time, and my poor husband is miserable and I know he wishes he could help, I just want him to stay put and chop wood for winter at the same time. Ugh! Overwhelmed. - anyways, I mowed the lawn and was attacked by KILLER BEES! They were out for blood, mine! They tried to kill me, I know it! I got stung about 12 times. Well, anyways that was last weekend. I feel pretty good now, except they itch like the dickens. Then, we went to welfare... it was good. Humbling, but good. I'm completely NOT ashamed. My husband gives them 25% of his pay every week so it's about time we get a little something back. I have a long distance cousin that I care for more than she knows and her idiotic husband up and took her son (which is her whole LIFE!) and won't give him back. The catch... they are married! She was supposed to come up to Ohio with her son for 2 weeks and his controlling mother convinced him of how horrible a mother she is and brainwashed him into to doing this b/c he can't think on his own. Now she cries herself to sleep every night. He got a restraining order put on her so she can't even call to check on her son and now has to go thru a vigorous custody battle. The justice system is so screwed up. She really wanted a family for her son and tried to work things thru with her husband. He gets mad and hits her, but she owns up to her end. She dug her nails in him... as his hands were around her neck! It's very hard to deligate one law for every circumstance. He even told the judge during the court hearing for the restraining order - which he AND his nasty mother were shocked to see her at!- that she was an amazing mother. She was given up for adoption by a woman who should have never been able to have children (tho I'm glad she did or I would have never had my Tony or Amanda) and has been scarred by it, never understanding how a mother could do something like that to their kids. Now she's without hers! So, it's got me a little emo.

Kids got off to school great and are loving it. So that's good, right?

Besides wondering how on earth I'm going to pay for August's mortgage, let alone September's, we got a little - okay a lot - bad news today.

My husband sold a couple of turn tables that are highly sought after, on ebay a couple of weeks ago. This was to help cushion the effect of playing football. These were sweet turn tables, too. He's always used them for deejaying and stuff. He DID NOT want to part with them but he feels he doesn't use 'em enough to hold on to them while we're unable to pay things. Makes sense. We may find more things to fit that category... Well, the buyer didn't purchase shipping insurance, which is their option. The tables arrived to them today completely trashed! Broken arms, needles, dust/head covers. Post office is trying to say that it's not their fault and we have to eat it. Buyer wants money (to the tune of $457) back. Which is understandable. I just truly feel that whether insurance was purchased or not the post office has a responsibility to deliver something in tact! Shipping insurance is more for items not packaged well and they clang together during delivery and break. Well, these items' BOXES were crushed and caved in, despite the fact that I wrote huge "FRAGILE", "THIS END UP", and "HANDLE WITH CARE" memos all over the boxes!

I can understand buyer wanting money back for damaged items. But they were delivered in tact and I sent them off at the post office. Ebay claims no responsibility, that we need to contact paypal to see what to do. Paypal claims no responsibility and won't release any funds to either person, and when they do it'll probably be back to the buyer, not us. The post office claims no responsibility (so far, we have to go/call tomorrow morning) b/c we didn't purchase the shipping insurance (that the buyer didn't want). BUT THEY DESTROYED THE BOXES. FRIGGIN' MORONS! OOOHH. What to do?! I don't normally discuss finances but I DON'T CARE anymore.

So here's the photos of how the packages looked when they arrived. Can you believe it. It seems like a photo that would be on Letterman. Please handle with care, my butt!

There's several scratches on these that were NOT there b4, caused by the head cover shattering.

And... the head cover shattering!

We're soo stupid for not preparing better for these situations.

We're sooo stupid for waiting and expecting uncertain funds!

We're soooo stupid for....

I'm tired.

I always had the moto, "If it's a problem that can be fixed with money, it's not a problem worth worrying about." Now I feel more like, "If it's not one thing, it's two or three or four."

I just feel sooo depressed and pessimistic. Everything downhill. I need good news.

I know, I know, it could be A LOT worse. I just wanna feel sorry for myself and I want it to work and make me feel better. I know that it won't. It doesn't matter. I'm only talking to myself anyways....

Signing off, to myself...

P.S. Please God... help us to be better people and to rely on you...(sigh)

Oh, did I mention that I have terrible allergies that started last night and my eyes look like tomato halves and my nose is almost bleeding... I'm out of tissues. Paper towels hurt.

Okay. *Update* So, the man that purchased the turn tables from us just called. (I'm only on the comp now b/c he sent us the pics and I wanted to post 'em. I'm not a comp - aholic) He was really cool and completely stated how he could tell we took EXTRA good care wrapping it so that it should have made it there fine. He was highly pleased that we weren't trying to avoid him or anything and were on top of things with whom all we called... yada yada. Anyways, worse case scenario, if the post office gives us the run around, which they will... he's asked us to go in with him on the parts he needs in order to repair the items. So, out of pocket for now is $50 bucks. If the post office admits any wrong and refunds anything at all (I'll pass out from shock) then, we won't be out much at all and we can reimburse him for his expenses. In fact, he and Andre discovered they have much in common, esp listening to similar music, so Andre's gonna send him a couple of albums when we issue him a check. Andre doesn't use albums much anymore since he's gone digital. Anyways the p.o. stuff will probably take a couple of weeks.

I hate showing how much something can make or break your day/thoughts. If I could just rely on Jehovah more and stop relying on only myself! Open mouth, insert foot... a little... : )

GOOD NEWS!

Andre's Surgery - WARNING! CONTAINS GRAPHIC MATERIAL AND SOME NUDITY!!!

So, my life since Friday has completely been consumed by worrying about my husbands health, finances and getting kids ready for school. (Which has been great. I'll post about thay later.) Nights have been pretty sleepless b/c everytime he tosses or turns I panic wondering if he's in pain. Well, I should've paced myself for the time after the surgery. Everyone around has been so encouraging with telling us how much more pain will be experienced after the surgery. Well, they were completely accurate! Well, anyways, here are a few pictures from the day of the surgery...

My brave little guy...

Prepped for surgery.

The doctor actually wrote "IT" on Andre's leg making certain that he cuts open the correct appendage.

During the end of the surgery, the doctor couldn't get him to wake up from the potion that they gave him. So they had to give him something that reversed all of the effects of the sleepy medicine. Bad thing is that it also reversed the effects of the pain medicine and the novacain. When he started to awaken, they took out his intibator (sp?) but then he stopped breathing so they had to re-intibate him. Once he was on track and starting to become more clear headed he COULD NOT GET COMFORTABLE. So, this is his tossing and turning.

Now keep in mind that he's a bit loopy. As he was tossin' and turnin' his gown started coming up in the back and revealing the full moon... Then, really loud he hollers out at me, "Here! Take a picture of this! You're taking pictures of everything else." And yanks his gown off his backside! Yikes!

See? I told you there'd be nudity! Don't ever allow me to photograph something and expect that I wouldn't put it on the web for the world to see!!

Awww. What a cute tooshie!

I've decreased the size of the pic so as not to offend anyone. Just scroll past. QUICKLY!

Like one minute he's talkin nonstop, the next he's sawing logs!

Ewwww. 21 Staples. PAIN PAIN PAIN... Tisk Tisk. All for a game of football!

EWWWWW!