I'm so mad at myself!

Anytime someone else tells me their issues/problems, I truly try very hard to reason with them. I try to get them to see that they're definitely NOT the only person on the planet going through what they are experiencing and a lot of times it's all in how you may look at a situation. I hate a truly healthy individual to feel sorry for themselves. You have health, food, shelter, family, children, etc.

I'm mad b/c I feel soooo sorry for myself that I can hardly breathe. I'm at the stage where I'm fighting back that rather pushy lump in my throat. The one that reminds me that he wants out and he'll make me think of all my problems at once in order to accomplish this task.

Andre's had surgery, yes. But, he's doing good for being only 6 days post op. The day after Andre injured himself the pediatrician's office called letting us know that ReAnna tested positive for strep throat. But fortunately it wasn't a painful virus and didn't last very long. The next day I needed to mow the lawn - I'm finding it difficult doing EVERYTHING. Not that I don't like mowing or taking out trash or driving, washing car, laundry, dishes, dogs, getting kids ready, breakfast, lunch, dinner, welfare appts, picking up kids, getting the remote, dispursing meds, and applying for jobs... it's just that I never had to do ALL of it myself before. Like, I know people do it all of the time, and my poor husband is miserable and I know he wishes he could help, I just want him to stay put and chop wood for winter at the same time. Ugh! Overwhelmed. - anyways, I mowed the lawn and was attacked by KILLER BEES! They were out for blood, mine! They tried to kill me, I know it! I got stung about 12 times. Well, anyways that was last weekend. I feel pretty good now, except they itch like the dickens. Then, we went to welfare... it was good. Humbling, but good. I'm completely NOT ashamed. My husband gives them 25% of his pay every week so it's about time we get a little something back. I have a long distance cousin that I care for more than she knows and her idiotic husband up and took her son (which is her whole LIFE!) and won't give him back. The catch... they are married! She was supposed to come up to Ohio with her son for 2 weeks and his controlling mother convinced him of how horrible a mother she is and brainwashed him into to doing this b/c he can't think on his own. Now she cries herself to sleep every night. He got a restraining order put on her so she can't even call to check on her son and now has to go thru a vigorous custody battle. The justice system is so screwed up. She really wanted a family for her son and tried to work things thru with her husband. He gets mad and hits her, but she owns up to her end. She dug her nails in him... as his hands were around her neck! It's very hard to deligate one law for every circumstance. He even told the judge during the court hearing for the restraining order - which he AND his nasty mother were shocked to see her at!- that she was an amazing mother. She was given up for adoption by a woman who should have never been able to have children (tho I'm glad she did or I would have never had my Tony or Amanda) and has been scarred by it, never understanding how a mother could do something like that to their kids. Now she's without hers! So, it's got me a little emo.

Kids got off to school great and are loving it. So that's good, right?

Besides wondering how on earth I'm going to pay for August's mortgage, let alone September's, we got a little - okay a lot - bad news today.

My husband sold a couple of turn tables that are highly sought after, on ebay a couple of weeks ago. This was to help cushion the effect of playing football. These were sweet turn tables, too. He's always used them for deejaying and stuff. He DID NOT want to part with them but he feels he doesn't use 'em enough to hold on to them while we're unable to pay things. Makes sense. We may find more things to fit that category... Well, the buyer didn't purchase shipping insurance, which is their option. The tables arrived to them today completely trashed! Broken arms, needles, dust/head covers. Post office is trying to say that it's not their fault and we have to eat it. Buyer wants money (to the tune of $457) back. Which is understandable. I just truly feel that whether insurance was purchased or not the post office has a responsibility to deliver something in tact! Shipping insurance is more for items not packaged well and they clang together during delivery and break. Well, these items' BOXES were crushed and caved in, despite the fact that I wrote huge "FRAGILE", "THIS END UP", and "HANDLE WITH CARE" memos all over the boxes!

I can understand buyer wanting money back for damaged items. But they were delivered in tact and I sent them off at the post office. Ebay claims no responsibility, that we need to contact paypal to see what to do. Paypal claims no responsibility and won't release any funds to either person, and when they do it'll probably be back to the buyer, not us. The post office claims no responsibility (so far, we have to go/call tomorrow morning) b/c we didn't purchase the shipping insurance (that the buyer didn't want). BUT THEY DESTROYED THE BOXES. FRIGGIN' MORONS! OOOHH. What to do?! I don't normally discuss finances but I DON'T CARE anymore.

So here's the photos of how the packages looked when they arrived. Can you believe it. It seems like a photo that would be on Letterman. Please handle with care, my butt!

There's several scratches on these that were NOT there b4, caused by the head cover shattering.

And... the head cover shattering!

We're soo stupid for not preparing better for these situations.

We're sooo stupid for waiting and expecting uncertain funds!

We're soooo stupid for....

I'm tired.

I always had the moto, "If it's a problem that can be fixed with money, it's not a problem worth worrying about." Now I feel more like, "If it's not one thing, it's two or three or four."

I just feel sooo depressed and pessimistic. Everything downhill. I need good news.

I know, I know, it could be A LOT worse. I just wanna feel sorry for myself and I want it to work and make me feel better. I know that it won't. It doesn't matter. I'm only talking to myself anyways....

Signing off, to myself...

P.S. Please God... help us to be better people and to rely on you...(sigh)

Oh, did I mention that I have terrible allergies that started last night and my eyes look like tomato halves and my nose is almost bleeding... I'm out of tissues. Paper towels hurt.

Okay. *Update* So, the man that purchased the turn tables from us just called. (I'm only on the comp now b/c he sent us the pics and I wanted to post 'em. I'm not a comp - aholic) He was really cool and completely stated how he could tell we took EXTRA good care wrapping it so that it should have made it there fine. He was highly pleased that we weren't trying to avoid him or anything and were on top of things with whom all we called... yada yada. Anyways, worse case scenario, if the post office gives us the run around, which they will... he's asked us to go in with him on the parts he needs in order to repair the items. So, out of pocket for now is $50 bucks. If the post office admits any wrong and refunds anything at all (I'll pass out from shock) then, we won't be out much at all and we can reimburse him for his expenses. In fact, he and Andre discovered they have much in common, esp listening to similar music, so Andre's gonna send him a couple of albums when we issue him a check. Andre doesn't use albums much anymore since he's gone digital. Anyways the p.o. stuff will probably take a couple of weeks.

I hate showing how much something can make or break your day/thoughts. If I could just rely on Jehovah more and stop relying on only myself! Open mouth, insert foot... a little... : )

GOOD NEWS!

Andre's Surgery - WARNING! CONTAINS GRAPHIC MATERIAL AND SOME NUDITY!!!

So, my life since Friday has completely been consumed by worrying about my husbands health, finances and getting kids ready for school. (Which has been great. I'll post about thay later.) Nights have been pretty sleepless b/c everytime he tosses or turns I panic wondering if he's in pain. Well, I should've paced myself for the time after the surgery. Everyone around has been so encouraging with telling us how much more pain will be experienced after the surgery. Well, they were completely accurate! Well, anyways, here are a few pictures from the day of the surgery...

My brave little guy...

Prepped for surgery.

The doctor actually wrote "IT" on Andre's leg making certain that he cuts open the correct appendage.

During the end of the surgery, the doctor couldn't get him to wake up from the potion that they gave him. So they had to give him something that reversed all of the effects of the sleepy medicine. Bad thing is that it also reversed the effects of the pain medicine and the novacain. When he started to awaken, they took out his intibator (sp?) but then he stopped breathing so they had to re-intibate him. Once he was on track and starting to become more clear headed he COULD NOT GET COMFORTABLE. So, this is his tossing and turning.

Now keep in mind that he's a bit loopy. As he was tossin' and turnin' his gown started coming up in the back and revealing the full moon... Then, really loud he hollers out at me, "Here! Take a picture of this! You're taking pictures of everything else." And yanks his gown off his backside! Yikes!

See? I told you there'd be nudity! Don't ever allow me to photograph something and expect that I wouldn't put it on the web for the world to see!!

Awww. What a cute tooshie!

I've decreased the size of the pic so as not to offend anyone. Just scroll past. QUICKLY!

Like one minute he's talkin nonstop, the next he's sawing logs!

Ewwww. 21 Staples. PAIN PAIN PAIN... Tisk Tisk. All for a game of football!

EWWWWW!

Just a Quick Update

Just to let folks know, briefly... Andre has surgery scheduled tomorrow (Aug 25) at 2:45. Poor guy, no food after midnight tonight. He's gonna be starving by the time I take him home (if he's allowed to come home...). The doctor said recovery could be anywhere from 6 weeks to 3 months. Yay!

No More Contact Sports for Andre! And I MEAN IT!

Most of ya'll know what has happened to my husband but for those that don't... Here's the story:

Andre's routine on Friday over the last month or so was to pick up Tony on his way home from work and go play football. They've been playing TACKLE football, which I had my opinions about already. Here's the thing, Andre being 33 is a pretty large guy... Typically I have more concern for the other guys, not like he's a world renowned body builder or anything but he has been called 'a wall', 'giant', and 'rockbiter' (ya know the character off of Never Ending Story). Also, he played tackle football a few years ago and broke his boss's nose. Not a good thing. He's not hugely competitive, just loves football! The guys he plays with are like his age down to 14. Even Talon has made a couple of plays.

This Friday, tho, the guys mentioned it seemed as tho everyone was playing like they had some vendetta for everyone, like just hittin' harder - stuff like that. Well, about 5 minutes b4 this particular play, Andre and a few of the other guys were just talking about how they're getting a bit old for this and not having sick leave from work that you could collect from if something happened to them. Well, anyways Andre'd have to tell you the story of the "play" (that goes in one ear and out my other!) but all I know is there was a pile of guys and he was the one that didn't get up. Now, let me state for the record ALL of the guys were highly concerned and have been calling for the past 3 days. This was not an intentional thing, just stupid! LOL! (Sigh) Boys! I tell ya.

Well, Andre apparently collided knees with Chase Rice (wonder if he's okay, btw). The angle that Andre was hit caused him a lot of pain and he was like in the fetal position on his side and grabbed his knees. Right away, by what he felt in his hands he knew something was wrong. A couple of the guys came up to him to see if he needed help getting up and he just told him that it was pretty serious, he knew and wasn't gonna move. It wasn't until he moved his hands off his knees that everyone knew how bad it was. It looked like his knee cap was in his lower thigh. His knee, tho being bent, looked completely flat. YUCK! They had to call the squad to come get him. Well, in the meantime, Andre calls me (and I was like, "Gosh! What does he want now?!" I was trying to enjoy 2 minutes with everyone gone. Yes, I feel bad about feeling that way - NOW.) and proceeds to tell me a brief synopsis about what had happened. My favorite part of his story was when he first started. He says, "I need to tell you something and I need you to know that I'm not playin'." Understand that he HAD to say that b/c of his history of messin' with people and playing practicle jokes on them. (Such as this one time he was at my dad's putting up a new ceiling fan in dad's kitchen. We had all walked out of the room for a minute and when we came back the ladder was tipped over and Andre was laying face down on the floor with legs and arms bent and spread out all over the place. We didn't even blink. We were like, "Get up!" LOL) When I got there, I started laughing. Seeing that big ogre being lifted into the Ambulance was a sight. The EMT guys couldn't even lift him and when the first guy came out to see what had happened, he looked at Andre and said, "OOOOOHH!!!" Andre says, you know it's bad when the paramedic cringes.

Well, what ended up happening was that the tendon that connects the knee cap to the shin bone was severed, ricocheting his knee cap up into his lower thigh and the tendon slung back to his shin bone. EWWW! Well, we go to the bone doc tomorrow at 7:45a to see when his surgery will be. Fortunately his boss was kind enough to at least lay him off while this is going on and through recovery, otherwise there'd be no income. At least there'll be something. And I'm completely proud to say that I'll be taking advantage of whatever the welfare office has to offer. We'll be going there tomorrow after the appt...

Anyways, when Andre called me to tell me what'd happened on the field, I told him to have Anthony take photos. Little did he know, I wanted 'em so I could post 'em on the net! HA! So, here you go...

You see that bulge in his leg? That's his knee cap. His knees are lying perfectly together so it's easy to see where his knee cap SHOULD be.

What a goober!

CREEP! He's gonna be one of the perverted men in the hospital, isn't he?

"The Cat Meows All the TIme" By Talon Hurt

The cat always meows and I keep feeding her food cause she always meows and then, and then I feed her food. I take a big hand full and I give it to her. I give her it and she eats it all gone. I give her the cat food, the whole entire bowl, and she eats it all. So, that's why that I love the cat.

She's always hungry and that's okay. And I love her so much! And I can't stop loving her.

She always lays on me. Whatever time I was on the hammock, she would lay on me.

And I remember that time when ReAnna was... um... when she knew it was a girl b/c she lift up her tail. She noticed it was a girl. But, I love my mom, my dad, my sister, Lucy, Sophie, Rosco and Cletis and the other cat. The cat is named Juno. And then that's the end of my story of my cat.

The End!

(A note from Heather: As Talon's done telling me this story, he tries to explain to me that Chinese people don't have computers. When I tell him, "Sure they do." He says no, b/c they don't I electricity. I say, "Sure they do." He says well, they speak Chinese and the computer speaks English! Gotta love 'im!)